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LOST in translation

April 17th, 2006 by epoyz

so tell me: is it completely wrong that whenever i hear "hollaback girl", and  it doesn’t matter where i am, i just start moving my ass to its beat?

i woke up later than usual ( i usually get up at the crack of noon ) and my younger cousin was in the office watching tv when i got out of my room. went to check the PC and gwen started singin’ so i started swayin’. it was too late when i realized i was hauling my ass left and right, my cousin ( she’s new around here and still holds me in high regard.. ) was already looking away and down on the floor. then came the awkward silence.

well, she’s still young. she can still blot out that image from her mind if she puts effort into it.

as for me, dammit, i can’t help swingin’ to that beat even when i’m in public. i’m telling you, this shit is BANANAS, B, A-N, A-N-A-S.

i was at my moms last sunday and i saw this LOST complete first season Photo_40
package that my brother borrowed from our cousin and i said great, i’m going to watch it, never caught any of it while it was on axn. from the looks of the packaging i can tell that it must be legit, until i turned it over and read the plot intoduction (notenote, i’m not trying to make fun of anybody, ok?):

"this play gather for 2004 years most deserve take a look at of TV serial. the american television station of abc scolds the huge sum to take in hawaii, the whole story details falls the rise and fall, the actor perform thoroughly, broadcast the first to gather to have already take down the segment accepts to see the champion at the same time, having become the prime time to accept to see the tallest television, now one of the plays. the story relates an aerobus to sink into an isolated island in pacific ocean, 48 passengers returnative by luck. face this shabby signs of human being small island, they how exist  bottom to go to. the survival myriad shapes, nationality, human race, cultural background, character… etc. have the huge difference, 14 star to win to have the father and son, there are brother and sister, there is friend, also having the enemy. they since to overcome the bad natural environment, in pretty of tropical zone from the wood. look for the food, headwaters, still need to face issue to make in the night the owner tremble with fear interjection of mysterious living creature; more difficult is they must win personal privateWant, expel the misunderstanding and disagree, help each other, beg the existence."

o ha?

you just can’t make this shit up.

 

sa mga nakapanood na ng LOST, tama ba yung pagkaka-describe nila ng plot?

they say truth is stranger than fiction, and i say nothing is funnier than stuff that comes from real life. mas nakakatawa talaga yung di nagpapatawa. if you can find something completely made up that is funnier than michael fajatin’s mental meltdown video in saksi, holla at your boy.

it’s like that email about this note that was found in a bar in malate. some girl gave this note to another girl who is apparently trying to steal her boyfriend.  the whole thing is so funny, i can’t remember much of it but the last part will help you  imagine how messed up their whole love triangle is:

"…you say i’m the bad breathe? but who does dennis wants to be kissed? me or you? you or me? and the final is me."

O HA??

that’s right. it’s not bad breath, yo. bad breathe. now read the whole thing aloud, and do the last three sentences with feeling.

priceless.

friends, if you happen to have a copy of that email please send it to me, and i will be eternally grateful. i received that when i was still using edsamail and i wasn’t able to make a backup. pleasepleaseplease, i need to read the whole thing and memorize it by heart.

again, let me repeat it again for the second time (nice..) : i do not intend to make fun of anyone, hear?

 

okay, maybe just a little..

 

hey, it’s just that sometimes people tend to try too hard with this english thing. i have a rule whenever i’m speaking with anybody: if they can understand tagalog i’m staying with my tagalog. doesn’t matter if they’re starting their shit up in english. it’s completely different when i’m writing a letter, sure, i write a lot in english but then again, that’s writing. nabubulol kasi ako mag-english pag pinoy din kausap ko, e. my head gets in the way when i’m trying to "englishify" with someone who understands tagalog, primarily because one of the people that live inside my head keeps interrupting with "naknampugita, pinoy din naman ‘tong damontres na ‘to ini-inggles  pa ‘ko. maitim nga ako pero di naman ako mukhang fil-am..". my english is reserved for our foreign friends, period. besides, they ain’t as critical with grammatical errors. ewan ko ba dito sa ‘tin, minsan inaabangan ka magkamali. ika nga ni heber bartolome, marami diyang iba, pa-ingles-ingles pa. e kung pakikinggan, mali-mali naman, wag na lang.

 

it’s okay, mind, if you’re among friends. you can practice with friends, it’s rad if it’s all in the spirit of having fun. plus, you’re supposed to make fun of your friends, thats a cardinal rule of friendship. me and my boyz can fill a huge book with tall tales of how we butcher(ed) the english language, teeming with gems like " arrrgh, is terrible pain…" and "hmmm, i smell fishy…" and "it’s mute and academic!", thrown in with words like demolate ( what people do during demolition), passover (where people in EDSA cross) and revengeance (grabeng paghihiganti ‘yon..). meron lang kasing mga tao sobrang feeling superyor komo magaling, correction, marunong mag-english. e pag pinakinggan mo naman mali-mali din, lalo na pag nagsulat. hay nako. ok lang mali-mali, wag lang mayabang, hokey?

 

again, if you’re a friend and i know you’re good peeps, it don’t mean squat to me if you’re not perfect, none of us are, as long as you’re not too critical of others, either. i’m just talking about those people, well, you all know the type. apir.

one thing i learned, aside from truth being stranger than fiction and real life being funnier than made-up shit: it’s the smart people who can act dumb and stupid most convincingly. did you know that lisa kudrow almost became a doctor and has a genius-level IQ? and as for stupid people trying to act smart, well, you know how that inevitably turns out…

hey, that’s two posts without any talk of politics, no?

anyways, i’ve been reading a lot of stuff that make me angry  as hell, and some that make me want to cry, but i’m making a concious effort to leave them out. well, one bad day and it will all come rushing out. andami kong gustong pagmumurahin, pero saka na ‘yun.

i am SO gonna use hollaback girl as my motivation music next time i play basketball.

"..Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit
    Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit
    Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit
    Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit

   I heard that you were talking shit
   And you didn’t think that I would hear it
   People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
   So I’m ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
   Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
   That’s right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up

   A few times I’ve been around that track
   So it’s not just gonna happen like that
   Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
   I ain’t no hollaback girl

    A few times I’ve been around that track
   
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
   
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
   
I ain’t no hollaback girl..

             - "Hollaback Girl", by Gwen Stefani from Love. Angel. Music. Baby

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One Response to ' LOST in translation '

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  1.   Pen said,

    on April 18th, 2006 at 8:12 am

    Tol, tandaan mo yung movie na in and out. di ba napapasayaw din si kevin kline dun… ano ba ending nun!!?? :-)
    And you’re right about this f’ng spokening dollars shit! Pigang-piga na ako! Bulol na bulol na ako. nagbabaliktaran na ang mga l at r ko… oo nga pala intsik ako! Shit da pak up. Shit them all!

    Good Morning Pala. Hehe. :-)

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