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Holey Wednesday

April 12th, 2006 by epoyz

last week i was at the glorietta doing my usual time-wasting rounds when something inadvertently caught my eye. i was checking the new and1 shoe display, looked down to check my phone if i had any text messages and i noticed this dude chillin’ on one of the benches. he was sitting "de-kwatro" style and he appeared to be really feeling cool about himself, being smug and all that, only he was wearing this baggy pair of shorts and he was displaying his nuts to all them passers-by. now i couldn’t suppress breaking out a smile because, well, you know, though i didn’t take a long hard look at it, i got enough of a flash to know that he was wearing this kinda beige or off-whitish pair of drawers and they weren’t tight, i’m telling you.( i sure hope those drawers were just off-white or else it would really add to the nastiness of the situation. anyhoo..) for a brief instant there i felt bad for the guy and i kinda decided on signalling him about it, only when i looked up to him he was kind of already giving me that tough guy look, like the "what the fuck’s your problem?" look. well it’s partly my fault, because i was still smirking when i looked up, he probably thought i was interested in him or something. he’s feeling kinda froggy and normally i’d provoke him to jump, but i thought, hey, pa-cool ka pala masyado, ha, sige i-display mo betlog mo. one of the few times i turned away from a staredown but i think it’s totally worth it. ikaw na nga magmamagandang-loob e, sisindakin ka pa. cheh.

still, i thought, had i gone on in telling him that his meatballs were on display at the counter, what would’ve been the best way to do it? i’d probably do it the way jim carrey did in ace ventura 2, when he went up to a squatting wachati tribesman and did a loud "EXCUSE ME!!!" then whispered in dude’s ear: "…your BALLS are showing…"

well, summer’s officially burning the crap out of me, and i’ve been staying mostly indoors. alam mo naman kaming mga mestizo, sensitive sa araw. i don’t have anything planned for the rest of holy week, i’ll probably stay at home and keep quiet ’til sunday.

i haven’t been working for the longest time and i was just doing a grey’s anatomy season 1 marathon to take a break from my one tree hill and seinfeld marathon (i’m doing season 4 of 24 in bit torrent and it’s almost finished) when lo and behold, i found out i’m missing an episode, so grey’s anatomy had to be put on hold. there’s no torrent of the latest House and The Office yet, and i just watched the latest sopranos so i don’t have anything on tap at the moment. i’ve been avoiding to blog for almost two weeks now because i can’t seem to find anything to write about aside from the whole frustrating political situation, so i mostly plop myself in bed and watch program after program on my computer. until that missing grey’s anatomy episode, that is, so here i am, worked up again with nothing to do but wait for that gap to fill itself.

and i just wasted your time by telling you all about that. i know i need to go back to work and i’m working on it.

i caught The Gospel of Judas on the national geographic channel last sunday, was really looking forward to seeing it and i have to say, it was very interesting. what i don’t care for is all the negativity that was flying all around the very next day. i was a bit surprised to find out that this was a really big deal to some people, and a lot is being put into it that i have to say, it just kills my interest in something when people try to debate so much about it.

as far as i can try to understand it, somebody wrote about another side of the story, it’s an ancient document and it was that old and authentic and everything, and a lot of people are raising hell because they’re saying everything we believe in is being challenged by this document. i mean, come on, everything we believe in is hinged on judas being the ultimate villain of all time? it’s things like these that start wars and conflict and shit, and people are still doing it. why can’t we have an open mind about this and discuss it and stop being righteous and shit? we can question things without being too hostile about it, right? why can’t we just chill and listen to another side of the story and go from there? hey, i’ve learned a lot of things that are spotty during the whole course of the program and i ain’t bitching about it, so why not maintain an open mind about things? Only four gospels were allowed by the people who were in charge back in the day? that right there is questionable enough, but i’m willing to listen why that is so. why can’t we look into this, that judas may have been just misunderstood? why are some people so adamant in dismissing this and want to maintain that he is evil beyond retribution?

i’m not saying i believe the gospel of judas or anything, but there are a few things that have been bugging me since  childhood: Jesus knew that He was to be betrayed by judas and He let all of it happen, He was never unaware of anything that’s going down. now, all of us are taught that judas is damned for all eternity  for this betrayal, right? it was even mentioned in the program that some believed satan himself greeted him in hell and ate his head soon as he got there. the way i understood it as a kid was, and correct me if i’m wrong but, it seemed to me then that judas really regretted doing what he did and some accounts even had him taking his own life because of his guilt and grief. never came across anything that said he rejoiced and celebrated for selling Jesus to the romans. i was taught that whatever sin it is that someone did, if he repented  and felt sorry in his heart then God would forgive him. okay, so judas sold the Son of Man, but did he really understand what he was doing? why wasn’t he forgiven? it’s a common belief among us catholics that if you take your own life you will go to hell, and probably that’s why judas got his, but i don’t know, i’m still not sure about that. The way i see it is, the sacrifice had to be done. God knows everything, so we can just go on and on about who’s right and who’s wrong but the truth is, we will never know. that’s why it’s called faith, because we will never ever know anything for sure.

Did Jesus ask judas this great sacrifice, to be hated for all time on earth, and get eternal damnation for all his trouble? we’ll never know for sure, won’t we? but indeed it is an interesting angle to make muni-muni on.

 

personally, i’d like to think that judas was forgiven in the end, and that God anointed him to carry out this betrayal and that he sacrificed his soul to facilitate what was needed to be done. i don’t know, i’m ig’nant as hell but you know me, i always root for the underdog. it just seemed like judas got a raw deal and if i was him, i can accept that all of the descendants of man would revile me for all time as long as Jesus held me in high regard for doing Him this favor. and if i had to spend eternity in hell due to some technicality, as long as Jesus says i’m his homey for doing this sacrifice then i guess i would be fine with that. screw everybody else on earth.

 

and that’s word.

 

"We all begin with good intent
When love was raw and young
We believe that we could change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burden time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal

It’s the bitter taste of losing everything
I’ve held so dear

I’ve fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don’t you come ’round here
And tell me I told you so.."

                - "Fallen", Sarah Mclachlan from Afterglow

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