EpoyzBlog

so tell me: is it completely wrong that whenever i hear "hollaback girl", and  it doesn’t matter where i am, i just start moving my ass to its beat?

i woke up later than usual ( i usually get up at the crack of noon ) and my younger cousin was in the office watching tv when i got out of my room. went to check the PC and gwen started singin’ so i started swayin’. it was too late when i realized i was hauling my ass left and right, my cousin ( she’s new around here and still holds me in high regard.. ) was already looking away and down on the floor. then came the awkward silence.

well, she’s still young. she can still blot out that image from her mind if she puts effort into it.

as for me, dammit, i can’t help swingin’ to that beat even when i’m in public. i’m telling you, this shit is BANANAS, B, A-N, A-N-A-S.

i was at my moms last sunday and i saw this LOST complete first season
package that my brother borrowed from our cousin and i said great, i’m going to watch it, never caught any of it while it was on axn. from the looks of the packaging i can tell that it must be legit, until i turned it over and read the plot intoduction (notenote, i’m not trying to make fun of anybody, ok?):

"this play gather for 2004 years most deserve take a look at of TV serial. the american television station of abc scolds the huge sum to take in hawaii, the whole story details falls the rise and fall, the actor perform thoroughly, broadcast the first to gather to have already take down the segment accepts to see the champion at the same time, having become the prime time to accept to see the tallest television, now one of the plays. the story relates an aerobus to sink into an isolated island in pacific ocean, 48 passengers returnative by luck. face this shabby signs of human being small island, they how exist  bottom to go to. the survival myriad shapes, nationality, human race, cultural background, character… etc. have the huge difference, 14 star to win to have the father and son, there are brother and sister, there is friend, also having the enemy. they since to overcome the bad natural environment, in pretty of tropical zone from the wood. look for the food, headwaters, still need to face issue to make in the night the owner tremble with fear interjection of mysterious living creature; more difficult is they must win personal privateWant, expel the misunderstanding and disagree, help each other, beg the existence."

o ha?

you just can’t make this shit up.

 

sa mga nakapanood na ng LOST, tama ba yung pagkaka-describe nila ng plot?

they say truth is stranger than fiction, and i say nothing is funnier than stuff that comes from real life. mas nakakatawa talaga yung di nagpapatawa. if you can find something completely made up that is funnier than michael fajatin’s mental meltdown video in saksi, holla at your boy.

it’s like that email about this note that was found in a bar in malate. some girl gave this note to another girl who is apparently trying to steal her boyfriend.  the whole thing is so funny, i can’t remember much of it but the last part will help you  imagine how messed up their whole love triangle is:

"…you say i’m the bad breathe? but who does dennis wants to be kissed? me or you? you or me? and the final is me."

O HA??

that’s right. it’s not bad breath, yo. bad breathe. now read the whole thing aloud, and do the last three sentences with feeling.

priceless.

friends, if you happen to have a copy of that email please send it to me, and i will be eternally grateful. i received that when i was still using edsamail and i wasn’t able to make a backup. pleasepleaseplease, i need to read the whole thing and memorize it by heart.

again, let me repeat it again for the second time (nice..) : i do not intend to make fun of anyone, hear?

 

okay, maybe just a little..

 

hey, it’s just that sometimes people tend to try too hard with this english thing. i have a rule whenever i’m speaking with anybody: if they can understand tagalog i’m staying with my tagalog. doesn’t matter if they’re starting their shit up in english. it’s completely different when i’m writing a letter, sure, i write a lot in english but then again, that’s writing. nabubulol kasi ako mag-english pag pinoy din kausap ko, e. my head gets in the way when i’m trying to "englishify" with someone who understands tagalog, primarily because one of the people that live inside my head keeps interrupting with "naknampugita, pinoy din naman ‘tong damontres na ‘to ini-inggles  pa ‘ko. maitim nga ako pero di naman ako mukhang fil-am..". my english is reserved for our foreign friends, period. besides, they ain’t as critical with grammatical errors. ewan ko ba dito sa ‘tin, minsan inaabangan ka magkamali. ika nga ni heber bartolome, marami diyang iba, pa-ingles-ingles pa. e kung pakikinggan, mali-mali naman, wag na lang.

 

it’s okay, mind, if you’re among friends. you can practice with friends, it’s rad if it’s all in the spirit of having fun. plus, you’re supposed to make fun of your friends, thats a cardinal rule of friendship. me and my boyz can fill a huge book with tall tales of how we butcher(ed) the english language, teeming with gems like " arrrgh, is terrible pain…" and "hmmm, i smell fishy…" and "it’s mute and academic!", thrown in with words like demolate ( what people do during demolition), passover (where people in EDSA cross) and revengeance (grabeng paghihiganti ‘yon..). meron lang kasing mga tao sobrang feeling superyor komo magaling, correction, marunong mag-english. e pag pinakinggan mo naman mali-mali din, lalo na pag nagsulat. hay nako. ok lang mali-mali, wag lang mayabang, hokey?

 

again, if you’re a friend and i know you’re good peeps, it don’t mean squat to me if you’re not perfect, none of us are, as long as you’re not too critical of others, either. i’m just talking about those people, well, you all know the type. apir.

one thing i learned, aside from truth being stranger than fiction and real life being funnier than made-up shit: it’s the smart people who can act dumb and stupid most convincingly. did you know that lisa kudrow almost became a doctor and has a genius-level IQ? and as for stupid people trying to act smart, well, you know how that inevitably turns out…

hey, that’s two posts without any talk of politics, no?

anyways, i’ve been reading a lot of stuff that make me angry  as hell, and some that make me want to cry, but i’m making a concious effort to leave them out. well, one bad day and it will all come rushing out. andami kong gustong pagmumurahin, pero saka na ‘yun.

i am SO gonna use hollaback girl as my motivation music next time i play basketball.

"..Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit
    Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit
    Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit
    Oooh, this my Shit , this my Shit

   I heard that you were talking shit
   And you didn’t think that I would hear it
   People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up
   So I’m ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
   Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out
   That’s right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up

   A few times I’ve been around that track
   So it’s not just gonna happen like that
   Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
   I ain’t no hollaback girl

    A few times I’ve been around that track
   
So it’s not just gonna happen like that
   
Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl
   
I ain’t no hollaback girl..

             - "Hollaback Girl", by Gwen Stefani from Love. Angel. Music. Baby

last week i was at the glorietta doing my usual time-wasting rounds when something inadvertently caught my eye. i was checking the new and1 shoe display, looked down to check my phone if i had any text messages and i noticed this dude chillin’ on one of the benches. he was sitting "de-kwatro" style and he appeared to be really feeling cool about himself, being smug and all that, only he was wearing this baggy pair of shorts and he was displaying his nuts to all them passers-by. now i couldn’t suppress breaking out a smile because, well, you know, though i didn’t take a long hard look at it, i got enough of a flash to know that he was wearing this kinda beige or off-whitish pair of drawers and they weren’t tight, i’m telling you.( i sure hope those drawers were just off-white or else it would really add to the nastiness of the situation. anyhoo..) for a brief instant there i felt bad for the guy and i kinda decided on signalling him about it, only when i looked up to him he was kind of already giving me that tough guy look, like the "what the fuck’s your problem?" look. well it’s partly my fault, because i was still smirking when i looked up, he probably thought i was interested in him or something. he’s feeling kinda froggy and normally i’d provoke him to jump, but i thought, hey, pa-cool ka pala masyado, ha, sige i-display mo betlog mo. one of the few times i turned away from a staredown but i think it’s totally worth it. ikaw na nga magmamagandang-loob e, sisindakin ka pa. cheh.

still, i thought, had i gone on in telling him that his meatballs were on display at the counter, what would’ve been the best way to do it? i’d probably do it the way jim carrey did in ace ventura 2, when he went up to a squatting wachati tribesman and did a loud "EXCUSE ME!!!" then whispered in dude’s ear: "…your BALLS are showing…"

well, summer’s officially burning the crap out of me, and i’ve been staying mostly indoors. alam mo naman kaming mga mestizo, sensitive sa araw. i don’t have anything planned for the rest of holy week, i’ll probably stay at home and keep quiet ’til sunday.

i haven’t been working for the longest time and i was just doing a grey’s anatomy season 1 marathon to take a break from my one tree hill and seinfeld marathon (i’m doing season 4 of 24 in bit torrent and it’s almost finished) when lo and behold, i found out i’m missing an episode, so grey’s anatomy had to be put on hold. there’s no torrent of the latest House and The Office yet, and i just watched the latest sopranos so i don’t have anything on tap at the moment. i’ve been avoiding to blog for almost two weeks now because i can’t seem to find anything to write about aside from the whole frustrating political situation, so i mostly plop myself in bed and watch program after program on my computer. until that missing grey’s anatomy episode, that is, so here i am, worked up again with nothing to do but wait for that gap to fill itself.

and i just wasted your time by telling you all about that. i know i need to go back to work and i’m working on it.

i caught The Gospel of Judas on the national geographic channel last sunday, was really looking forward to seeing it and i have to say, it was very interesting. what i don’t care for is all the negativity that was flying all around the very next day. i was a bit surprised to find out that this was a really big deal to some people, and a lot is being put into it that i have to say, it just kills my interest in something when people try to debate so much about it.

as far as i can try to understand it, somebody wrote about another side of the story, it’s an ancient document and it was that old and authentic and everything, and a lot of people are raising hell because they’re saying everything we believe in is being challenged by this document. i mean, come on, everything we believe in is hinged on judas being the ultimate villain of all time? it’s things like these that start wars and conflict and shit, and people are still doing it. why can’t we have an open mind about this and discuss it and stop being righteous and shit? we can question things without being too hostile about it, right? why can’t we just chill and listen to another side of the story and go from there? hey, i’ve learned a lot of things that are spotty during the whole course of the program and i ain’t bitching about it, so why not maintain an open mind about things? Only four gospels were allowed by the people who were in charge back in the day? that right there is questionable enough, but i’m willing to listen why that is so. why can’t we look into this, that judas may have been just misunderstood? why are some people so adamant in dismissing this and want to maintain that he is evil beyond retribution?

i’m not saying i believe the gospel of judas or anything, but there are a few things that have been bugging me since  childhood: Jesus knew that He was to be betrayed by judas and He let all of it happen, He was never unaware of anything that’s going down. now, all of us are taught that judas is damned for all eternity  for this betrayal, right? it was even mentioned in the program that some believed satan himself greeted him in hell and ate his head soon as he got there. the way i understood it as a kid was, and correct me if i’m wrong but, it seemed to me then that judas really regretted doing what he did and some accounts even had him taking his own life because of his guilt and grief. never came across anything that said he rejoiced and celebrated for selling Jesus to the romans. i was taught that whatever sin it is that someone did, if he repented  and felt sorry in his heart then God would forgive him. okay, so judas sold the Son of Man, but did he really understand what he was doing? why wasn’t he forgiven? it’s a common belief among us catholics that if you take your own life you will go to hell, and probably that’s why judas got his, but i don’t know, i’m still not sure about that. The way i see it is, the sacrifice had to be done. God knows everything, so we can just go on and on about who’s right and who’s wrong but the truth is, we will never know. that’s why it’s called faith, because we will never ever know anything for sure.

Did Jesus ask judas this great sacrifice, to be hated for all time on earth, and get eternal damnation for all his trouble? we’ll never know for sure, won’t we? but indeed it is an interesting angle to make muni-muni on.

 

personally, i’d like to think that judas was forgiven in the end, and that God anointed him to carry out this betrayal and that he sacrificed his soul to facilitate what was needed to be done. i don’t know, i’m ig’nant as hell but you know me, i always root for the underdog. it just seemed like judas got a raw deal and if i was him, i can accept that all of the descendants of man would revile me for all time as long as Jesus held me in high regard for doing Him this favor. and if i had to spend eternity in hell due to some technicality, as long as Jesus says i’m his homey for doing this sacrifice then i guess i would be fine with that. screw everybody else on earth.

 

and that’s word.

 

"We all begin with good intent
When love was raw and young
We believe that we could change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burden time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal

It’s the bitter taste of losing everything
I’ve held so dear

I’ve fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don’t you come ’round here
And tell me I told you so.."

                - "Fallen", Sarah Mclachlan from Afterglow

there are very few things more annoying than some moron incessantly harping on and on about knowing something that’s about to go down, then when he appears prophetic still proceeds to gloat and sing out the most painful set of words an opposing know-it-all dreads to hear: i told you so.

 

you just know what’s coming next, don’t you?

 

i. told. you. so.

 

to bong austero, who appeared to be on to something but can’t really offer anything.. an emphatic i told you so.

 

to the moron who told me to consult solita monsod if i wanted answers on why i should just shut my piehole and practically suggested that somebody else do my thinking for me… my lilting a-ha-ha-haaaaaay to-ho-hooold you sow..

ah, yes, to solita monsod, who just a few weeks ago was with the "move on" movement, saying assertions on GMA’s illegitimacy has been so far unsubstantiated and called reactions to 1017 as "hysterical"; but then yesterday was crying a different tune, condemning the administration’s treachery… with all due respect, ma’am, but i told you so. well, not exactly. but you know what i mean.

to the "silent majority" who chose not to stay silent and proclaimed how doing nothing is doing the right thing… i freakin’ told y’all so. i even sent some of you an email, remember?

for the record, i feel you on your reservations about all that went down last february 25, with some people using the event for their own purposes, yada-yada, we all caught that. i also agree on all that working within ourselves sermon and proceed with nation-building through our own little contributions, leave all the politicking to the politicians with all their ambitions and hidden agendas and shit. if it would insure a better future for the kids i would be all for it.

but we just can’t ignore politics right now, can we? this has become too important.

believe me, the subject i least want to discuss is politics, i absolutely hate toiling on trying to follow and understand it, it’s right up there with dissertations on pinoy big brother and why it’s a massive hit. i just wanted to point out that a lot of us missed entirely the signs of things to come when randy david got arrested and rallying poor folk got their asses clubbed on EDSA’s 20th anniversary.

they’re going to force this thing down our throats, GMA and her lot. they’re not going away, and they intend to rule for a very long time.

i can’t help but smile (pero di ako natatawa) when i saw all this "people’s intiative" through the barangay signature campaign bullcrap. de venecia proclaiming that the parliamentary switch is imminent and gives three months for it to be consummated, rey atienez (no typo there) defending the constitutionality and legitimacy (right, like GMA’s presidency, then? if i can sneeze at an election’s result why would i think any better of a fucking signature campaign?) of the "people’s initiative" (pweh!), and GMAs statement that the Cha-Cha Train has left the station and nothing’s going to stop it.. now how about that? i’m sure we can stop it, of course. but amidst all this divisiveness and paranoia and indifference, will we lift a finger to stop it, or leave the already beleaguered activists to mount their futile stand?

this particular time i don’t enjoy being right. truthfully, i had a hard time following the political telenovela, who’s telling the truth and who’s lying, if a villain is having a change of heart and helping the hero or just setting him up… it’s like playing a game of "find the red card" while a scantily-clad redhead is gyrating her hips to a sean paul tune on the left side of the table and a monkey is juggling five balls on the right.

what my limited and severely compromised attention span compelled me to read and analyze and watch the news was my suspicion that something is indeed wrong. we are being played while we are watching something else. you can just feel it, or smell it, if you will.

or in the words of one of my best buddies: "hmmmmm… i smell fishy…".

from there one has to merely notice the familiar symptoms of rot.

 

and now i’m so tired of talking about it.

 

all i know is that the administration’s ambition is now clear, their motives have been unveiled in broad daylight. aside from successfully covering up the stench of what they did to acquire power in 2004, they are planning on not just finishing their reign of terror up to 2010, they’re setting us all up so that they’ll get a stronghold on power for all eternity. they have five million signatures from the "silent majority", and dares everybody to try and stop them.

‘ho-’ho-’hos all around.

if governors and mayors and congressmen are behind this movement because of the rewards being dangled in front of them (extra terms and no elections and absolute control of their turf), enabling them to micro-manage any possible form of uprising in any part of the country, how are we going to stop it once the pieces are in place? right now they have undermined everything, the supreme court virtually won’t matter in  the long run, the senate is being discredited like a truthful witness with a drug and alcohol problem… indeed in a matter of months we may just find out that everything is too late and an interim parliament will be in place.

what then?

are you saying that they can’t possibly win this thing, we have the constitution and the law to protect us? dude, they’re even daring us to watch them while they go about in doing it.

want a scenario? here’s a picture. and that is just from a political standpoint. imagine how a system like that would irreversibly cripple the country. it’s going to be a setup you can compare to the mafia, but on a national level. it’s a takeover that reminds me of the one mounted by John Hurt in V for Vendetta, minus all the science and sophistication ( i still say the novel that this movie is based on was inspired by our own people power 20 years ago..). here in the philippines the administration merely used all the people’s money to build the machinery required to make us gisa in our own mantika.

i hate to sound like an asshole, but it had to be done.

i told you so.

"Things have been getting real heavy these days

The Media

The System

The People chasing pay

Somebody’s got a rifle he won’t turn the other cheek

Now it’s his turn. "

            "Nite Becomes Day", Citizen Cope from The Clarence Greenwood Recordings