EpoyzBlog

What a difference 20 years worth of freedom makes.

i noticed  during the hastily conducted press conference of mike defensor that his lips are almost of the same color as the skin on his face. is this the effect of spewing crap out of his mouth over and over? i mean, how much can you mention the economy, fear of bloodshed, putting politics aside, "we know nothing about this" bullshit and all that without looking like a total asshole with actual shit coming out of it? his whiny face spitting out lies all the time make me sick. so with this now all out of my system let me just get this one last thing out of my chest, with all my heart let me just say:

shit da pakyu, men. and your bitch, too.

oh dear. i just wasted a good six hours of my life following the stupid standoff at fort bonifacio. i was compelled to follow as the events unfolded, because me, my moms and my brothers have been itching to join in on the rallies since friday. in fact, after watching riot policemen beating the living shit out of protesters (ok, ok, they threw rocks, but still, no need to stick a guy in the kidneys while he’s down, dammit..) at or near the edsa shrine, we were ready to go to makati to join cory and express our support for the people power movement. i took a bath and was ready to roll a few minutes before 8pm last friday, only to learn that the rally has been pushed back, slapped around and dispersed. oh joy.

saturday, nothing. ano yun, pahinga na din sa weekend ang militant groups at opposition? well, about the opposition, i know most of them are power- and money- hungry trapos and i can’t trust their motives and what, but you know– at the moment the enemy of my enemy is my friend. dig?

now when col. querubin assembled his battalion at the marine headquarters, i thought, wala nang atrasan ‘to. i’m pretty sure he and his lot will all be branded as traitors and rebels by "the state" and that they will hold their position til’ the bitter end because they already forfeited their careers in this administration. with these boys having this resolve we may now have a rallying point to start this party up. these boys surely won’t give up that easy, and the boat is about to be rocked hard.

wrong.

i’m now compelled to say that the marines are a bunch of miscommunicatin’ pussies. surely that turnover of command between miranda and allaga warrants a whole lot of suspicion, especially since miranda was incommunicado during the whole time the circus was in town. if you’re going to stand up, you hold that position, or else don’t stand up at all. i’m sorry but i don’t understand why they started this in the first place if they were just going to stand down that easily. it was just miscommunication between miranda and the marine ranks who stood up for him? please.

understand, i am not advocating violence and bloodshed, i’m just mad for getting all worked up for nothing. i’m not looking to be clubbed out there on the streets either, but this you must understand: the administration has stripped all of us the right to stand up and say what’s bugging us about them. think about that. as demonstrated by the fucking riot police last friday at EDSA and ayala, if we so much as join a prayer rally  then they have the right to beat our asses and arrest us. if we step up to a microphone and declare our disdain over the way they’re running shit around here, we can easily be picked up for inciting sedition and rebellion. i believe under this SONE if mike defensor or lucifer bunye should come across this blog entry they’d be beating down my door and haul my ass to camp karingal in a jiffy. if the mere idea of the wings of democracy being clipped by this 1017 bullshit or the ongoing mockery of our right to shape this country’s future doesn’t push you to voice your displeasure, then i fear nothing else will.

note: should i end up in jail for posting this, please tell my story. hehe.. thanks.

the proclamation coming down on the very same day that we should have
been celebrating the reclamation of our freedom is the very definiton of
irony.

they should no longer have power over us because now they stripped us of everything. with no clear parameters and guidelines outlining this SONE proclamation, we’re all practically hogtied and under martial rule again. they have shown us last friday and last night that they will use "necessary force" to extinguish the tiniest embers of rebellion. i believe they are well-equipped to handle these types of sticky situations because by now they are well-prepared for this. notice how fast checkpoints were set up to prevent people from going to fort bonifacio? they have set up pre-emptive measures as far as the south luzon expressway to discourage people massing together. and the statements released by the palace, oh boy, all the shit they cooked up in a matter of hours, well, surely worked. their claim that politicians were using this crisis to bring people out on the streets confused everybody. may merit some truth in it, but still, a card well played considering the situation. people saw that they will administer the beatdown again if necessary, with the quick response of MPs and riot policemen with their shields and sticks and shit, so things just died down again. man, they’re good.

 

i was following all these events closely when i caught something about someone calling for a noise barrage at 8:30 pm. man, i was A-M-P-E-D. but for some reason the suggestion got lost in everything that was going on. come on guys, a simple noise barrage and we can’t even coordinate this type of shit anymore? we have a serious problem with solidarity here. i’m afraid less people are inclined to go through this shit again, and that is the greatest weapon that the pResident Evil is wielding right now.

it’s true we don’t have a clear cut plan if we do this again. but we do have a clear problem here. a clear and present danger, if you will.

if we don’t do something about this now, and the events of the past few days fail to wake you into civil disobedience, then we will all bear the shame of not living up to what filipinos of 20 years ago risked their lives for. that we are different from them, that we are cowed into submission to an illegitimate rule and that we open up our butt cheeks each and every day so they can screw us some more.

i heard that five hundred people are still holding vigil at gate 3 in fort bonifacio. will the numbers swell? i hope so. right now professor randy david  is in UP rallying the students into making a stand again. several militant groups are massing, preparing to storm the streets, hoping to break through the barricades of checkpoints and anti-riot police stationed at strategic points. at least some of us are still trying. i hope tomorrow brings us renewed hope, and with it the resolve to participate and do something, anything in fact.

but let me warn you,with the pResident Evil’s resolve to bludgeon any attempt to overthrow her by any means necessary, we must be prepared for the possibility of tiananmen square happening here. maybe she could go to lengths we can only imagine before, like maybe a bomb going off in the middle of a rally, scaring people into dispersing. or soldiers firing at civilians, the very same order given by the tyrant of 20 years ago but may now be carried out because the country ain’t the same as it was, and this woman is more determined to cling to power. those tanks may not be stopped by nuns this time around. mortar fire may claim innocent lives in this revolution. ask yourselves if you are willing to accept that soldiers may not stand down like they did in 1986. we must understand the risks, we must feel the fear, we must realize that there are possibilities.

now that we feel the fear, we should ask ourselves first if it will be worth it. well, we can make it worth it  this time, if we can follow through after the initial victory. the lesson of EDSA 1 and 2 is to never revel in the celebration of overthrowing the last government, and continue to be vigilant. but really, do we have to go through this again? this is some tired-ass shit, right? and this time, with lessons learned from the past two revolutions, some of our fears may be realized. terror can be used this time. what if they do try to strike fear into our hearts? what if they try to hurt us, try to kill some of us to show that they mean  business?  that this time there will be no stepping down? it is not that far-fetched, that a few hundred innocent lives sacrificed, should it come to that, is a chance those in power are willing to take. realizing this fear may become reality, what do we do?

 

should this enemy from within our own country turn out to be as dangerous as what i imagine them to be, then the more reason for us to be scared. because the more scared we are, the better.

 

the greater the fear, the greater the potential is for courage.

weird this dream i had a few nights ago (yoda, ikaw ba yan?). i was chillin’ at my mom’s with my brothers and some of my friends, when all of a sudden a whole bunch of people from my past started arriving at the door one after the other. a lot of people that i have known a long time but i haven’t seen in a while kept coming, and i started to panic because i wasn’t prepared for a party. i was worried because aside from the fact that i have to make something to offer them, prepare refreshment and food and all that, i am fully aware that i haven’t talked to a lot of these people in a very long time and i knew i’d be talked out for all the catching up. the whole place was buzzing with all the people i know, i was whizzing in and out preparing chow and drinks but still a whole bunch of my old pals kept arriving. they were chatting with my brothers, my moms and my cousins and a lot of my relatives who also started to arrive. plus, i heard that my sister, who is in houston, was on her way. i was befuddled, perplexed, bemused, puzzled, flummoxed, discombobulated, nonplussed, confounded and mystified (ok i hit the thesaurus button there..) with all this sudden hullabaloo. what the hell is up? why the party?

you’d think it would get weirder when i started giving up on the drinks and food and just decided to chat with the peeps because i figured, what the hell, you guys just came barging in here unannounced i won’t be bustin’ my ass being your hostess and shit. but once i started trying to talk to my old college professor (my favorite, the one who looks like obet pagdanganan without the ‘tache) and he walked away from me, i finally had an inkling of what’s going on. so, just to make sure, i walked up to some of my old classmates. i started to joke around, trying to be funny and stuff, and they just kept chatting with each other. didn’t even look my way, so that confirmed it. i was having a bruce willis in sixth sense moment.

damn. so that’s how it felt to be in your own funeral.

when i go i will so gonna be flicking ears and pinching butts on my memorial service. papansin..

well, that was that, it was a weird dream, the regular variety, the usual same ol’ same ol’. i don’t think too much into it and don’t worry, i ain’t writing this one from the beyond or wherever. or am i?

i am so gonna get in trouble for that..

oh-kay..

you have to click on this: COME ON, CLICK IT!

people, please please please don’t sleep on the 20th anniversary of EDSA. listen to what this man is saying, because if we don’t find it in us to make some noise on this day, we might as well prepare a funeral for our country, our sense of worth, our pride and nationalism, and everything that we plan on passing to our children as filipinos. but if you’re planning to ship your whole family out of here, fuck it, never mind..

so, are we going to flock to edsa two weeks from now or what? at
least don’t sleep through it, boys and girls. remember, at the very least. we have to take the power
back. we need to be governed, not ruled, and it all starts from us
making the move. hell, this civil disobedience idea isn’t a bad one:
someone suggested that we can all just forget about paying our taxes
until the power is given back to the people. it shouldn’t come to crime
rates going up because more and more people are getting desperate, or
folks dying in stampedes because they cling on to a glimmer of hope for
a better life, because  the dream of buying your own house and car and a means to feed your family everyday is so bleak an image if you pin it on your
seven to nine job. i’m sorry but they keep telling me the economy is
doing good and the peso is gaining on the dollar, but why the fuck are
all the prices going up? why do they keep taxing my ass, why do people
i talk to keep complaining how it gets harder everyday to get through
with what they have? damn, if i’m feeling the scourge, what more the
less-fortunate? this country is fast becoming pro-rich and the rest of
us is just paying rent.and the motherfucking rent keeps going up,
dammit. and now if people want to complain they get their asses beaten,
too? what the fuck?

okay, okay, enough of that. i have to find something else to talk about, fast.

like a drug, this snack "boy bawang" finally got a hold of me. i’ve been hearing about this bag of bits of corn for some time now, but i refused to be hooked in the midst of all the rave reviews.. well, i got home late the other night, found six small packs lying around the table, settled in to watch some downloaded tv series episodes and ate from those little bags.

boy bawang is the shiznit!!

 

yesterday i found myself in a grocery aisle fiending for more boy bawang. was a bit amused to find that a lot of other imitators were thrown in there to dupe you into buying their corn bits. turns out there is an ongoing corn bits-war and now i’m buying into it. damn, all those garlic can’t be good for the breath, right? now i’m trying to stop but my snack stash just beckons at me to tear open one more pack, just that one last small bag of crunchy corn and fried garlic bits with iodized salt mixed into it. oh man, please give me the strength to stay away. i just think the packaging of boy bawang is key to all this: it’s small enough to make you feel not guilty for snacking on a small bag of corn bits, but it goads you into opening just one more to sate that longing. it’s just pure genius, i’m telling you..

i just breezed through 14 3rd season episodes of one tree hill in two days and now i’m a bit impatient for the next one which aired just last week. they don’t have a torrent for it yet, so.. just one of those things, you know? you guard yourself from being hooked on something, from "getting involved" or ’summat. you look into one episode, you get intrigued, now you’re fucked. you just have to see the next one, see how it all plays out for brooke and luke, and nathan and haley, and keith and karen and if whitey will ever win that championship. haaaay..

plus a lot of the songs that they play there are fly. if anyone out there has a copy of bethany joy lenz -galeotti’s "Preincarnate" limited cd please holla at your boy. thanks.

i meant to write something about kobe’s 81 points a few weeks ago but i failed to do so, instead i’m just inserting Flea’s blog entry about it.

 

ok, i’m going to sleep now.

"Tonight I’ll dream while i’m in bed
When silly thoughts go through my head
About the bugs and alphabet
And when I wake tommorow I’ll bet
That you and I will walk together again

I can tell that we are gonna be friends
Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends."

          - "We’re Going To Be Friends", The White Stripes from White Blood Cells

I was walking past a magazine store and i noticed that the new FHM issue was out. i moved closer to check out who’s on the cover. camille prats? what is she, like, 13 years old? double-checking, turns out she’s old enough to do it, so, there you go. damn, i’m old. what does doc aga have to say about this, i wonder? it’s all going too fast, first  i see paolo contis and boy2 quizon all grown up, cruisin’ for chicks and smoking and shit, which i thought then was still okay, but seeing camille prats on a borderline sleazy mag (which i regularly buy) made me realize that time really does fly. but that’s when you’re having fun, right? i want my fun, dammit!

i would hate to be sitting in front of my computer screen, reading the news and stuff, 20-25 years from now and my daughter would ask, "dad, can i pose for this magazine?", to which i would instantly reply: "op kors, anak. hintayin mo lang muna ako mamatay."

all these made me think of john ritter’s psycho dad character in  "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter". no disrespect to mr. ritter (and may God rest his soul) but his character would seem weak to the "dad" inside my head, formulatin’ rules and preparing and planning. yup, i don’t have kids yet but if i ever do have a daughter, i’m primed.

 

i wouldn’t go as far as doing a martin lawrence and will smith act in bad boys 2, i’m going for a more calculated approach. for one thing i hate guns and no one should be allowed to brandish a firearm to scare anyone. but you have to bring a strong message across: Mr. Epoy don’t play so you better not fuck with ‘im.

 

it’s been a running joke between me and my friends whenever someone announces a baby on the way, that a girl would mean atonement for past sins. hey, we’re just kidding around, girls, it don’t mean that me and my friends were/are players or anything (wink,wink, you guys know who you are…) it’s just that we know how difficult it would be for fathers-to-be to have a healthy heart and teenage daughters at the same time. indeed, we are scared shitless, because we were on the other side once and we know this for a fact: walang mabait na lalaki. takot, mapagpanggap, magaling umarte, meron. a man with a pure heart? come on..

so, for my male friends who already have daughters (or have daughters on the way), listen up. time will fly by, so do not waste the next 10 years and start preparin’. write this shit down.

first impressions are crucial. if your daughter introduces a male "friend" or "classmate", "study group member", whatever, ask him directly for his whole name and lock him in a death stare. make the kid feel like he’s staring into the eyes of Death himself and in a cold voice ask him: "ano pangalan mo? yung buong pangalan mo pati apelyido, hindi palayaw lang." when he tells you do not, i repeat, do not break eye contact. after his reply maintain the death stare until the boy looks down or away. once he does that follow it up with "pagbutihin nyo pag-aaral nyo, ha.." then walk away without saying a word.

some boys have big balls, you have to be aware of that. remember how you were back then, you’d reason that if you show the pops how clean your intentions were towards his daughter, then you will have a very good shot of getting his approval?

 

eliminate this concept from the boy’s mind from the get-go.

my youngest brother (he’s 16) once asked me for advice on how to tell his girlfriend’s parents that they were going out. brazen child, i thought. there’s no correct way of doing that, fool. you’d be better off doing covert ops. okay, i said, tell me what you have in mind, we’ll have a practice dialogue, i’ll be your girlfriend’s father and sell me your crap. we went back and forth, he tried his best on appealing his case, i kept interrupting him with hard-hitting questions, he desperately tried to stay afloat but in the end, he just sat there with nothing else to say. he then decided to leave the father out and talk to the mom instead. that way he figured he may have a chance.

if a boy ever finds the set of cojones to ask you straight up if he can date your daughter, that he only has the cleanest of intentions and all that shit, answer him along these lines: if you’re willing to have a transponder chip surgically implanted in your body, then by all means, yes. that’s right, my friends, the technological advances in the next 10 years will be awesome and you should make them work for you. satellite cams on your cellphones  is but a few years away and it will be on like 24, kiefer. no more of this globe and smart cellphone tracker shit. it will be cracklin’ like Spy Games, G. you’d be like "hey, kid, i’ve been reviewin’ your transponder logs and i noticed that you’ve been spendin’ a lot of time in the bathroom in the morning last week. what is up with that? you better not be spankin’ the monkey too much, dog, get those thoughts outta your head if you’re seeing my baby girl…"

of course you don’t want your daughter to hate you, bro, so you better not be acting too thuggish and loud, embarassing her and shit. don’t be confrontational, APPEAR reasonable and just be prepared for anything. play nice, but as soon as she’s no longer looking put your game face on. if you’re talking to her male friends you have to maintain a calm exterior, at the same time try to exude a quality in your personality that you will indeed fuck him up if he plays around.

don’t be chatty or be investigative or overly inquisitive. the less you talk the better it is for your image. remember, you don’t play around. if the two of you are left in the room, let the tension build up. don’t say nothin’ or start an inquisition. nothing is more potent than nerve-wracking silence. and oh, it would help a lot if you stare at the boy coldly while saying nothing. never in any circumstance engage in small talk, accept light banter or joke around with the boy. and you may want to time your occasional drink with the boy’s visit, appearing drunk and highly volatile. my friend neil’s grandfather once confronted his aunt’s then-suitor when he got home after a night’s drinking: "nanliligaw ka sa anak ko?".."uhm, opo…".."tuli ka na ba?".."o-opo..".."patingin nga."

any boy who shows up at your place must have his presence announced to you and wifey, and when he’s leaving he better let you know, too. all this is self-explanatory. a lot of kids today forget this simple courtesy and it’s wrong.

 

don’t let a boy talk to your daughter on the phone for more that five minutes. a lot of shit goes down through the phone, you know that. amputate that possibility. it’s virtually impossible, but you know the tricks because you’ve done ‘em yourself. you’ll find a way. if you’re going to give your daughter a cellphone don’t go prepaid, you must be able to monitor who calls her and who she calls and sends text messages to. an extension of your landline in your bedroom is an effective deterrent for those late night phone call "trysts". work those phone records like the feds.

 

if a boy shows up at your place, be it a friend or a boyfriend, trying to show off muscled arms or string beans wearing sleeveless shirts or shit like that, take this as an affront to your fatherhood. make like you’re ready to smack him on the head and tell him "boy, umuwi ka muna at magkamiseta ka bago ka dumalaw sa anak ko." you see this shit around malls? boys taking girls out to dinner and movies wearing fucking undershirts? and what’s up with those low-rise jeans showing off their Kevin Bacon underwear? hey, if a boy doesn’t respect your daughter enough to dress up for their date, kick his ass back home. word up.

i see all these boys disrespecting their girlfriends in public by being overly affectionate, kissing them in the neck and shoulders while on the escalator, their sleazy hands wandering around their waists and borderline-groping their butt. if you catch someone doing this to your daughter, gut him like a fish and fuck him up. period. i once saw a client’s daughter with his boyfriend in a cinema’s foyer while waiting for the next screening and man, that boy was plain as day going to town, kissing and groping and shit. i know it’s none of my business, but the girl is only fifteen, and that boy was taking advantage of her being confused and new to this thing, being "in love". i wanted to ring her father and tell him "anonymous tip: mr. G., manyakis ang bf ng anak mo..".."sino ‘to? teka, nabobosesan kita! epoy? si epoy ba ‘to?".." nagkakamali kayo, hindi ako ito." *click*.

listen, i don’t encourage my younger brothers to be disrespectful to women, and i’ll be the first one to lay the smackdown on them if i ever catch them being that way to their girlfriends in public. that  shit is unacceptable.

 

oh well, i guess i’ve been watching a lot of these family shows lately. i see a lot of things that are wrong and i go "that shit is not going to fly when i’m in charge!". that’s why i’m trying to prepare, i know i’ll screw up a lot but at least i wasted a lot of time thinking about it. honestly, i can’t wait to match wits with these teenage boys. it will sure be a lot of fun.

 

me and my brothers once saw this on the backflap of a jeep:

"girls, be careful to your beauty,

specially to your body

because cats are too many

to destroy your personality."

o ha?

i probably don’t know what i’m talking about, being a single person
and  all, but i guess the gist is this: our generation has only
recently been coming to terms with the fact that this shit called life
is real, and we’ve only just begun trying to adjust. we’re getting old
fast, we’re starting to bring people in this world and we must be
vigilant and responsible and careful. we can’t be caught up too much
with providing a better future for them, become too busy with work and
our careers, we have to be real parents. always. it’s not fair but we
have to watch over them constantly, too. kids are smart, but kids are
stupid. it’s going to take a lot of work and we must accept that. don’t
bring kids into this world because they are cute and cuddly and
lovable. if you don’t watch out at five years old they’ll start to
become absolute hellspawns and mess up your life, so you have to be
active in shaping their lives for them. don’t raise brats, teach them
lessons that will prepare them for the real world. don’t make life too
easy for them, either. don’t confuse nurturin’ with neuterin’.

i apologize for another long blog entry. a lot that went down last saturday really depressed me, and i felt that writing about other things will really help me because i’m too tired of putting people on blast. i’m still waiting for conrado de quiros’ next article, since his last three have been awesome. you can find it all here, here and here.

"this is not really happening.

you bet your life it is."

          - "Cornflake Girl", Tori Amos from Under The Pink