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what people get for my almost non-existent social life

October 1st, 2005 by epoyz

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bear with me on this one.

been listening to The White Stripes’ album Get Behind Me Satan and i just started imagining the prince of darkness down south humming to some of their lyrics with some particular people in mind. it goes:

I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it
Yeah, I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it
Yeah, I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it
yeah, I been thinkin’ about my doorbell..

press secretary bunye points out to us franklin drilon’s true agenda. huh? he’s drawing this out like it’s a bombshell or something. of course WE know frankie did what he did and they’re doing what they’re doing to wrest the power away from you morons. so, roughly translated, they’re saying: "tangina kasi ‘to si drilon, e, naisahan kami. akala namin kakampi namin para makalusot, may balak palang iba."

the temerity of these people is really galling. whatever drilon’s future plans are, i can’t really say that he didn’t help our cause by tricking the hell out of that bitch. haha. destabilization? what the fuck else is stable around here? of course everybody’s in this for the power grab. we know it. hell, if i only have the power to cast Wrath of God on these people i will. for the meantime, i’m open to riding this shit out, kinda like letting your enemies destroy each other first then coming in to claim the victory. haaay…

Wrath_of_god

we just have to bide our time. really, these guys in the administration are kinda walking all over us right now, but hopefully help from somewhere is coming. maybe senator raul roco died so that he can be granted power by The Holy Spirit and administer one great equalizer of an ass-whooping. if only. so satan sings…

I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it
Yeah, I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it oh
I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it
Yeah, I been thinkin’ about my doorbell

You don’t seem to come around
Point your finger and make a sound
You don’t seem to come around
Not since I said you knocked it down?

Oh, well

Make a sound and I’ll make you feel right
Right at home, yeah
Yeah, right at home, yeah

Sunday driving’s supposed to be fun, right? just cruising along, listening to muzik, not much traffic on the streets, everybody else just seems to be chillin’. but no. once you get to EDSA, it becomes a game of patintero, a very irritating one. motherfuckin’ MMDA officers, a bunch of them, are manning the yellow lines like vultures ready to swoop in the moment you lose your focus (because of the aforementioned chillin’ that’s goin’ on, right?) and bust your ass. and they ain’t there to give you a ticket. hell no. they’re working overtime for the extra dough. one thing you’ll notice is them pointing out to you how much you’re gonna pay for this infraction (it’s fuckin’ crossing the yellow line on a stretch of road with only four other cars in sight and no buses, dammit..), where you’re gonna claim your license and shit, how it’s going to be a damn waste of your time. all this so you would offer to bribe them. fuckers, fuckers, fuckers.

and do you notice how many MMDA enforcers there are on EDSA when you’re trying to get home on a weekday? that’s right. you can bet your bottom dollar there aren’t as many on a sunday. takes me 80 minutes from magallanes to east avenue during rush hour. a whole lot of buses CROSSING OVER to the lane for private vehicles, turning these choke points (ayala, boni, megamall, galleria…) into terminals while they fight for passengers, muscling private vehicles out of their lanes. mga barumbado pa magmaneho at sumingit ang mga hayop. where’s the MMDA in this? well, i see a token force of two or three skinny, sloppy MMDA "traffic enforcers" lackadaisically pointing and waving and shit. compared to a sunday, where there seems to be a fleet of them ready to pounce on you if you make a wrong move. and these dudes on sunday detail, hanep sa porma. kumpleto big bike with wangwang, ang kikisig ng tindig, feeling erik estrada ang mga kumag. wow. this shit has got to stop. somebody ought to put the fear of God into these assholes. if i ever lose it and do a michael douglas in that "falling down" movie, these guys are on top of my list. for the meantime: hit it, lucy..

And I’ve been thinkin’ about my doorbell
When they gonna ring it, when they gonna ring it
Yeah, I’ve been thinkin’ about the doorbell
When they gonna ring it, when they gonna ring it oh
I’ve been thinkin’ about the doorbell
When they gonna ring it, when they gonna ring it
Yeah, I been thinkin’ about the doorbell..

shit. i just hope that when i die and go to hell mas mataas ang ranggo ko sa mga ‘to. i’d like to be the guy serving them cold coffee, during their coffee break in room three (if you know that story..). or the dude who occasionally opens the door and throws large boulders on the pool neck-full of turd while they’re singing "wag kang aalon…wag kang aalon…". or the guy shoving pineapples up these politicians’ sphincters every afternoon in hell for eternity.

all wishful thinking right now, but it is sweet to imagine satan singing right now while looking up at what these people are doing:

Make a sound and I’ll make you feel right
Right at home
Right at home

I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it
I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it
Yeah, I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it
Yeah, I been thinkin’ about my doorbell
And when you’re gonna ring it, when you’re gonna ring it..

i learned a lot from this article. the notes below will be truly helping me out, because i had "jumping through plate glass" as my primary means of escape should i get into a sticky situation. ouch.

uyyy, bati na sila.. i must admit i’m really interested on how this is going to work out, since it’s the first time since 1990 that phil jackson doesn’t have two of the best five players in the game in his team. and if kobe can have a healthy working relationship with PJax after all the dirt he flung from his book? this is going to be priceless, i’m telling you.

another thing i’m excited about the coming NBA season: how the chosen one will continue his ascend to the throne. i believe in the kid, and i really feel his time is upon us. late 90s grant hill numbers all around.

the seagames is just around the corner. kinda blows that we can’t participate in basketball, because of the BAP suspension. hope they can rectify this in time. they’re workin’ overtime, though.

after the FEU win in game 1, shit sort of gotten a little froggy. now there’s hell to pay, and this old dude will cut the check. what he did was uncalled for, i’m compelled to say, but i admit the hammer kinda went a bit hard right there.

amazing game by arwind. i like this guy and his game a whole lot because he looks like my kid brother. really.

the next game won’t be until next thursday, though. so right now franz pumaren is probably trying to calm down his bristling mustache.

the PBA will resume business tomorrow, and already ginebra has been drawing fines. alright.

something has got to be wrong with me. everytime i read this joke (or other versions of it) i can’t help laughing, even though i know how it ends. no kidding.

Pedro: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili ako ng hearing aid. Grabe! Ang linaw na ng pandinig
ko!
Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang…

one more time in the place:

I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it
Yeah, I’m thinkin’ about my doorbell..

Oh, oh well.

   -"My Doorbell", The White Stripes, from Get Behind Me Satan

 

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