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Drop Dead, Gorgeous

September 19th, 2005 by epoyz

It was nearing lunchtime last thursday when i managed to get past security at this building along chino roces st. ( they’re suspicious of cargo shorts-and-nike-wearing dudes..), so naturally, i was hoping to catch the next elevator car going up to beat the noontime break. i went there to pick up a check payment from one of my clients and i didn’t want to wait until 1 PM should i miss the cut, so i chased the doors just as they were closing and squeezed myself against the other passengers. only not all of my cargo shorts managed to "make the cut", so there i was, clutching the part of my shorts that got stuck, concealing from the other passengers the fact that i was about to take them for a ride they won’t soon forget…

soon as the elevator ascended and got past the second floor all the lights on the buttons went crazy and the floor numbers that were lit died and a sudden jolt rocked everybody. bam. the elevator then proceeded to go up but at a much slower pace this time. i was looking up the whole time, trying to divert attention away from me and the fact that i’m causing all this, all the while tugging mightily at my shorts. soon as we get past the third floor–bam!–there it was again, the frightening jolt that sent my fellow passengers into panic. amazingly, nobody noticed that my shorts got stuck and they were blaming all this to poor maintenance by the building, or suggesting that we may have overloaded the car that’s why it’s acting funny. slowly and frightfully we went up another floor, another jolt sent the ladies screaming, a fellow started ringing the emergency button and the elevator seemed to be contemplating about giving up and plummeting down instead. it just seemed funny that i wasn’t even near from being scared that we might actually come crashing down (sure felt like it..), but i was so scared that someone in there might realize that i’m the one causing this, and alert all the other passengers so they can beat me up. so i was like–"got…to..untangle…shorts..and…fast!!"…

well, that sort of (quiet) desperation gives you added strength, and i managed to pull my shorts out of there. soon as they came loose the elevator doors opened on the 6th floor, everybody got out and started complaining to one of the maintenance guys. dude really helped me out when he blurted–"ay, iyang dulong elevator talaga na yan, nagloloko yan, e..", and all the people in there with me dropped the investigation and accepted it as an open-and-shut case. only the maintenance dude was referring to the elevator at the opposite end, but hey, no need to point that out, right? whew.

after that i felt a little guilty for a short while because i may have endangered those people’s lives in there. but then i reasoned out that if it will only take a snagged piece of clothing to bring an elevator full of people hurtling down, those people at mitsubishi better take a look again at their elevator design. and i’m pretty sure a second- and third- line of safety measures are built into these things. we might have tackled this in our mechanical systems courses during my years in UP Arki, i’m just not sure because i wasn’t really into listening during lectures and all that. all i’m saying is i could have assured those people in there with me that, hey, these things are fail-safe, i’m a registered professional and i should know that. that is, well, only i don’t.

if i don’t check myself, this man’s record might be in danger… i’ve been watching a lot of TV lately and i’ve downloaded a lot of stuff to watch on my PC and dvd player that i no longer mind if i spend all day inside my room and just watch all these shows.. i even managed to get myself sucked into following One Tree Hill. i mean, come on.. this has got to stop. that’s why i decided to just download all the shows i like and watch all the episodes and get this over with. there. and now i’m on the third season of Scrubs. dammit.

i really need to do something productive. well at least i managed to avoid taking a bunch of people down with me last week. that has to count for something, right?

"Nothing much to say i guess
Just the same as all the rest
Been trying to throw your arms
Around the World

And a woman needs a man
Like a fish needs a bicycle
When you’re trying to throw your arms
Around the world..

I’m gonna run to you, run to you, run to you
I’m gonna run to you, run to you, run to you
I’m gonna run to you, run to you, run to you
Woman be still
Woman be still
Be still
Woman be still
Woman I will.."

    - "Trying To Throw Your Arms Around The World", U2 from Achtung Baby

 

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